Have you noticed anyone behaving oddly today?
If the answer is yes, then there may well be a reason why.
I suggest you run through this checklist:
- What’s this person’s name? Does it resemble or contain any of the following: Lycan, Remus, Romulus, Lupin, Lupus, Wolfe, Vira, Vyras, Gwr, Wair, Wer, Verr, Vargulf, Garoul, Lobo?
- Do their eyebrows meet in the middle?
- How are their fingernails? Curved, clawlike?
- Do they demonstrate a surprising horticultural knowledge with relation the poisonous plant Aconite (aka Wolfsbane)?
- Do they demonstrate an irrational distaste for those popular low calorie lunch crackers, claim to have a wheat allergy, or obsessively read the packet ingredients for anything containing grain?
- How are they in the run up to Christmas? Do they shy away from the mistletoe?
- When going out for a stroll, do they cross the road inexplicably as certain trees come into view?
- Have they mentioned an allergy to silver?
- Low set ears?
- A swinging stride?
- Bristles under the tongue?
If the answer is yes to more than five of the above questions, it’s time to be concerned. This person is showing signs of being a werewolf, and there’s a full moon today!
And to mark this significant moment in the lunar cycle, Syfy is having a werewolf day:
12.30pm – Nature of the Beast. A werewolf goes in search of a cure when his fiancée struggles to accept his monthly transformations.
2.20pm – Teen Wolf. Michael J Fox turns into a wolf with a talent for basketball.
4.10pm – Teen Wolf 2. The Teen Wolf’s cousin struggles with his monthly cycle while at uni.
9pm – Monsterwolf. A werewolf heads off on a killing spree when sacred Native American land is disturbed by intruders.
10.50pm – An American Werewolf in London. Tongue-in-cheek tale about two American youths who are attacked by a werewolf on the Yorkshire moors.
12.50am – War Wolves. While serving in the Middle East, a werewolf virus has infected a group of US soldiers. And now they’re back home…
